Kate and Dan read THE GOON #39

Dan enters the Asylum in St. Paul, aka Kate and Dan’s House, to find clothing littered around the house.

Dan: Kate? Why does the house look like our closets exploded?

Kate: ::Looks up while wearing an astronaut helmet, cape, and fireman boots:: I was thinking that we needed to do something to freshen up the blog. We’ve been at it for over 6 months. Our readers need, no they DESERVE, a new look! The blog is getting stale, babe. Also? Time to rope in some new readers!

D: OK… That still doesn’t explain why your clothes are all over the house.

K: I’m following Eric Powell’s lead and giving myself a new look to go along with a new origin story. The nice girl from Wisconsin who moves to Minnesota story is played out. Powell gave The Goon a new origin story in The Goon number 39. In fact, he gave him a bunch of different origin stories. Like, one every other page. Why can’t I have a new origin story?

D: Because you aren’t a fictional character?

K: ::Makes a “W” with her hands:: Whatever! We owe our readers a new look! I thought I would try out being ‘Frigerator Lass, lone survivor of an ancient, frozen people. I require large amounts of ice cream to survive! Aaand… we just gained 10 new blog readers. I knew this would work!

D: I think you’re missing Powell’s point to the book. He’s trying to explain how ridiculous it is for the Big 2 comic publishers to continually change characters’ stories and costumes, often not because the story calls for it, but merely as a hook to get readers to buy more of the comic!

Besides, what would your costume be? A bib with a lobster on it? Would you fight crime with your Ice-Cream Scoop Of Justice?

K: ::Hides bib-cape and giant serving spoon in the front closet:: Give me that hat and trench coat, wouldja? HAH! Now, I’m the Morton Fisher-Woman, from the wilds of New England! I protect all things… that relate to… Fisher-Stuff, as I patrol the… wilds of… New England…

D: Now that is a well thought out origin. NOT.

K: Shut up. The blog just registered 4 new readers. See, as long as we follow the RULES AND REGULATIONS OF WRITING SUPERHEROES, as laid out by The Goon, we should be increasing media interest and getting new readers!

D: Again, you’re missing the point, Fisher-Woman. (God, that’s awful.) People read comic books, and our blog, for interesting characters and well thought out ideas. If the storytelling is good, then people will read the book. Creating variant covers is a cheap way to get readers to buy more books. Powell makes this point with the Multicolored Goons.

K: The Yellow Goon was funny. He couldn’t be hit otherwise he’s pee his pants.

D: I knew you’d like that one. The point is, if you have solid storytelling, the readers will come and stick with you. It isn’t about selling trinkets and action figures and splash pages. It’s about the story. And this is really pounded home in Powell’s essay at the back of the issue. He wraps up an issue of sidesplitting satire with an incredibly well laid out piece on the state of the comic’s industry. Comics need to diversify beyond the capes. Great stuff.

K: ::tosses tiny Kate Action Figure into a plant:: You and Powell are right. Our faithful readers come to the blog because we’re (kinda) funny and provide an insight into comics that can’t be found anywhere else on the Internet. I don’t need to wear outlandish outfits and claim to come from an exotic local in order to make our blog more exciting. We just need to do what we do best.

D: And just what is that?

K: EAT ICE CREAM AND TAKE NAMES.

D: And we’re all out of ice cream.

… er… maybe the fans would appreciate it if you put on the Batgirl outfit. You know, for the fans?

K: Shadddup.