Kate (and Dan) Read Comics: Batgirl #1

batgirlThis is the first appearance of Kate and Dan Malmon on the site. We are thrilled to officially welcome them to Crimespree, though they have been part of the family for a while now. K & D will appear every other Thursday, alternating them with Joe Schmidt, offering their thoughts on comics.

Dan’s been reading comics since 1987 (West Coast Avengers #1- REPRESENT!). Kate spent her idle days hanging with the boys at the local comics shop. Hanging out, but not really reading the books. This blog is a pretty darn close recreation of a Wednesday at our house, after a trip to the comic shop…

K: “Why does it say “ah!” on the cover?

D: It doesn’t.

K: Sure it does.

D: No, that’s Adam Hughes’ signature.

K: Why isn’t his name listed on the cover with the writer and other artists?

D: Because those are interior artists. He painted the cover, so he gets a special “cover artist” credit on the inside and gets to sign his work on the outside. Artists’ credits get kinda tricky. So do you think they should have their name printed on the cover with the other artists? That’s an interesting argu…

K: Right. I like it better pronounced as “Ahhh.”

Let’s see what’s on the inside…

K: This story is called “SHATTERED”, like the Rolling Stones song. Cool.

K: Sooo… Bad Guy Danny has to carry around a scrapbook to show the victims? Seems kinda clumsy.

“What do you do Danny?’

“I CARRY THE SCRAPBOOK!”

D: Maybe this is his rookie hazing. Bad Guy Scrapbook Day! Like Rookie Dress Up Day for baseball teams? No? Just a thought.

K: Woops- The first Bad Guy to bite it when Batgirl crashes through the window? Yup. Scrap Book Danny. Should’ve blocked that kick to the face with the scrapbook.

K: I like that she has a kick-ass motorcycle. Better than that dopey car.

D: Wait a sec. Did you just call the Batmobile a “Dopey Car”?

K: Better than the Rumbler-thing from the movie, with that unnecessary gun-thing under the seat.

D: I have no idea what you’re talking about. ::shakes head::

D: Did you even notice that the motorcycle tires are mini bats?

K: OF COURSE! She would shine it with Bat-Armor-All! And clean the windshield with Bat-Windex! And…

D: STOP IT RIGHT NOW.

K: …

D: Are you better now?

K: …

K: Ok. Sorry. Let’s keep reading…

K: Batgirl tells the bad guy, The Mirror, to “Back off and assume the position”. Does she really expect the bad guy to just surrender because she asked? I seriously doubt The Joker would just roll over that easily.

D: Her dad is the Commissioner and she hangs out with cops; she’s learned the procedures.

D: Here’s something that’s a little different: Have you noticed that she is one of the few superheroes that smiles? She’s smiling on the cover and when she takes flight for the first time. Batgirl and Spider-man are the only superheroes that have fun while they are in costume. I think that’s pretty cool.

K: Maybe the other superheroes should reconsider their career paths if they aren’t happy.

D: Huh?

K: Their career path. If they’re not enjoying their jobs, then maybe they should sit down and right down a “Goals and Dreams” chart.

D: That’s not really what I was ge…

K: ‘Cause if they’re not excited to go to work they should ask “What Color Is Your Parachute?”

D: They don’t fight crime because it’s their life’s vocation! They fight crime because they’re scared and haunt…

K: “WHO MOVED MY CHEESE?”

D: ::bangs head on table::

TIME PASSES

K: Ok. I’m done reading

D: Are we even going to talk about the fact that Batgirl used to be in a wheelchair, and now she’s not, and the flashback to the Joker shooting her, and all that?

K: You mean, The Plot?

D: Yeah.

K: No.

D: Oh. How about the fact she’s a redhead like you? Or the fact that she’s a strong, independent woman, who would be a positive role model for young girls? The same segment of the population DC Comics is trying to reach?

K: Sweet.

K: …

K: So… Can I have a motorcycle, too? AND A BOTTLE OF BAT-WINDEX?!?

D: ::Bangs head on table::

Dan and Kate Malmon are a happily married couple (except when Dan forgets to do his chores) in Roseville, MN. When not working, reading comics and mysteries or watching sports, they hang out with Franklin the dog. You can find both Kate and Dan on Twitter.