In honor of Jen Forbus’s Detective Tourny, today’s MMQ features a P.I. that has made it all the way to the championship round! Head on over and cast your vote in the final round!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am talking of Raymond Chandler’s Phillip Marlowe and THE BIG SLEEP.
This exchange takes place early in the film and features Vivian Rutledge (Lauren Bacall) and Phillip Marlowe (Humphery Bogart). Vivian is trying to find out what her father wanted with Marlowe, but does not want to come out and ask.
Vivian (taunting): So you’re a private detective. I didn’t know they existed, except in books. Or else they were greasy little men snooping around hotel corridors. My, you’re a mess, aren’t you?
Marlowe: I’m not very tall either. Next time, I’ll come on stilts, wear a white tie and carry a tennis racket.
Vivian: I doubt if even that would help. Now this business of Dad’s. You think you can handle it for him?
Marlowe: It shouldn’t be too tough.
Vivian: Really? I would have thought a case like that took a little effort.
Marlowe: Not too much.
Vivian: What will your first step be?
Marlowe: The usual one.
Vivian: I didn’t know there was a usual one.
Marlowe: Oh sure there is. It comes complete with diagrams on page forty-seven of ‘How to Be a Detective in Ten Easy Lessons’ correspondence school textbook. And, uh, your father offered me a drink.
Vivian: You must have read another one on how to be a comedian.
Later in the same scene:
Vivian: You know, I don’t see what there is to be cagey about, Mr. Marlowe. And I don’t like your manners.
Marlowe: I’m not crazy about yours. I didn’t ask to see you. I don’t mind if you don’t like my manners. I don’t like them myself. They’re pretty bad. I grieve over them long winter evenings. And I don’t mind your ritzing me, or drinking your lunch out of a bottle, but don’t waste your time trying to cross-examine me.
Vivian: People don’t talk to me like that.
Marlowe: Ohhh.
Vivian: Do you always think you can handle people like, uh, trained seals?
Marlowe: Uh, huh. I usually get away with it, too.
Vivian: How nice for you.
