“9-1-1, how can I help?”
“There’s a bunch of hoodlums out on my porch and they won’t leave.”
“Hoodlums, sir?”
“That’s right. A bunch o young people making noise and singing and threatening me.”
“Threatening you how sir?”
“They said they won’t leave until they get some figgy pudding, whatever the Hell figgy pudding is. And they sang that to me together.”
“Is that all, sir?”
“No, I think they might be pyromaniacs, too. They all have candles. In fact, looking again, they may all be in some kind  of gang. They all seem to be dressed the same and wearing red and white hats”
“Why do you think they are dangerous?”
“Well they must be druggies. They keep using street slang for doing drugs, roasting chestnuts, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow… And what the Hell is a Blue Christmas?”
“Sir, I have some people on the way to help”
“Well, tell them to hurry. I’m getting a bit nervous.”
“Sir, are you the same person who called last year about this time about a man on your roof?”
“A man with animals on my roof!”
“Sir, I need to ask you, do you have a gun in the house?”
“I was cleared of those charges! He came right in to my living room through the chimney, it was self defense!!!”
“Sir, I need you to…”
“Hang on, someone’s at my back door now too!”
“SIR! those are the men I mentioned! SIR!!”
“Who are you?!!?? What do you…”
Joe Pike winked at Elvis and punched the man with a fast left. The phone fell towards the floor.
“Operator?”
“Yes?”
It’s Inspector Rebus, we have this under control.”
“Thank you sir. Merry Christmas.”
Rebus punched the off button and tossed the phone. Harry Bosch was there to catch it and put it back on the recharger. In the front of the house, Patrick and Angie explained to the carolers that everything was fine and they should move along. Bubba gave them a wad of cash.
Banks stuck his head in the back door and gave a yell.
“Who’s for the pub?!”
Tess mentioned she needed to feed her dogs first, but would meet them there.
Walker calmly said he’d drive and they all headed out to the van.
“You guys are going to love THE CRIMESPOT. The guy who runs it, Graham, is really great. And it’s really good place for finding out what’s going on,” Moe Prager closed his door, rolled down the window and added ”plus a lot of the rookies are hanging out there. Nice to see the future’s in good hands”
Pike tied up the crazy old man and locked the door. As they walked away, Robicheaux mentioned that the old man reminded him of someone from high school, and Pike just rolled his eyes.
As they drove away, Spenser smiled at Hawk.
“I think the kids have it under control.”
“They do,” said Scudder as he started the car they were hiding in, ”I think this generation has it under control just fine, the next generation, too.”
Have a mysterious Christmas.
and hey, thanks for Crime Spot Graham!