::Kate’s in the kitchen making mashed potatoes from scratch::
K: Where’s my colander? It was in the cupboard earlier and now it’s gone.
::From outside:: THUD! THUDTHUDTHUD!
K: Dear God. What’s going on out there? ::goes outside to find Dan on the roof:: Whatcha doin’ up there, Smalls?
D: This is going to be amazing. Just wait. ::adjusts something strapped to his back::
K: What do you have on your back? And why are you wearing the colander on your head? Do I want to know?
D: This is going to be amazing. Trust me. Someone left a mystery package on our front stoop and I knew exactly what I needed to do next!
K: You needed to climb up on the roof? That makes perfect sense in Coo Coo Crazy Land. I think your colander hat might be a little tight.
D: Here read this and all will be clear. ::gently tosses down THE ROCKETEER #1 by Dave Stevens:: Make sure you catch that and don’t bend any corners!
::Kate reads the comic book::
K: So you think you’re like the main character in THE ROCKETEER, Cliff Secord? You think mobsters left a mystery package on the front stoop just like they left a package in Cliff’s stunt plane?
D: Yes! Those mobsters needed to ditch that package they lifted from Uncle Sam before the cops caught up to them, so they hid it and Cliff found it. Turns out they left him a “bullet-shaped engine” that was stamped “Top Secret”. Our hero Cliff read the instructions and decided the logical thing to do would be to strap the top secret “bullet-shaped engine” on his back and work out a new act for the air show he performs in. This new routine would spotlight his newly found treasure.
K: You realize that your “mystery package” is just the phone book wrapped in a plastic bag, right? And mobsters didn’t “stash it” on our front stoop. The mailman did. See? It even says Verizon across the front in bold text. That is not a “bullet-shaped engine” and there is nothing about it that will propel you anywhere. It will help you find a dry-cleaner or a pizza joint, but it won’t help you fly. Just look at you: You have the phone book strapped to your back using bungee cords. I didn’t realize we had bungee cords.
::clatter in the distance as a whole mess of crap falls off a shelf in the garage due to sudden disappearance of necessary bungee cords::
D: Don’t tell me what I can or cannot do, Devil Woman! Sometimes, Fate takes the wheel. This is one of those times. Fate guided that top-secret rocket to Cliff so he could help fight gangsters and Nazi agents. Fate strapped this phonebook to my back, and put this colander on my head so the handle would help me steer.
K: ::mumbles:: No other wife on the block is on a first name basis with the ER staff…
K: Look, Dave Stevens understood how important heroes are when he debuted The Rocketeer in 1982 as a backup feature in Pacific Comics STARSLAYER book. He not only wrote the book, but he drew every panel as well. He took his vision and single handedly brought it to life. That is a heroic task.
D: ::calls down from the rooftop:: And holy moly, what beautiful art it is! Stevens had a lush, detailed style that perfectly captured the essence of WWII America. It’s a style that calls to mind Rockwell’s America. Baseball and apple pie, y’know?
K: I like apple pie.
D: And his love for pinup girl legend Betty Page is well known. That’s who he modeled Cliff’s best girl Betty after. Nothing but garter belts and low cut tops there!
K: Perv. Now come down from there already!
D: If I come down, can we watch The Rocketeer movie from 1991?
K: AGAIN?! We’ve seen it, like, one gabillion times already!
D: I’m about to hit the launch button on this phone book jetpack here…
K: Good luck with that.
D: ::looks down:: Whoa. I’m up really high. ::crouches down, pees a little::
K: I’ll go find a ladder. And some clean shorts for you, Hero Boy.
