::Dan is sitting at the kitchen table with a laptop computer open in front of him. He is wildly tapping at the keyboard and muttering under his breath. ::
K: Take it easy on the new laptop, Ace. We just got that and let’s try not to break it in the first 24 hours. We haven’t even told Twitter or Facebook about the new machine. If it isn’t posted on Social Media, it never happened. It’s true. I read it on LinkedIn.
D: ::rapidly hits the enter key:: WHY WON’T THIS THING WORK FOR ME?!? I’ve been pushing all of the buttons and it won’t turn on! I want to surf the inter-webs, but I’m being PC-blocked!
K: ::looks at dark monitor:: Well, first off, Mr. Gates, you need to turn the computer on before you can get to the World Wide Web. Let’s try a little thing I learned from Sandra Bullock in THE NET.
D: I already tried that! The “go” button won’t go. I think the Geek Crew guy that set it up sabotaged it. He distracted me with his Cumberbatch-like good looks and then pulled a fast one on me. We’ll never get to see cute kitty videos ever again!
K: That sounds like something that I would fall victim to. What happened to you, Malmon? Off your game much? ::grabs laptop:: Let me see if I can figure this out. I work in IT you know.
D: But you don’t do computer-y stuff! I’m not worthy to use this new machine…
K: ::pushes “ON” button. Laptop fires up:: Works now! I just pushed this tiny button over here…
D: That’s the one button I didn’t try.
K: …and Voila! The world at your fingertips! Looks like you don’t get to use the shiny, new laptop. Like you said, Mr. Campbell, you’re not worthy. This reminds me of the new THOR comic book! Here. A badass warrior woman with a big hammer. Just your style. ::slides THOR #1 & 2 across table:: This’ll cheer you up.
D: ::misses comics and they fall on the floor:: Damn it. Why is life so hard? THEY WEREN’T EVEN IN BAGS AND BOARDS!
K: The Lady Lord of Thunder needs no “bags and boards.” Now, read! The Lady of the Lightning commands it!
::crashing thunder::
D: I really liked these two issues! I’m aware Jason Aaron has been penning some really epic Thor tales since the launch of Marvel’s MARVEL NOW initiative. Very cosmic, very “godly” oriented stories that have been very well received by fans and critics alike. And with this new number one dovetailing right out of his ORIGINAL SIN summer crossover, these developments were obviously very natural.
K: Yeah, I’ve seen the Avengers movie. Heck! I’ve watched Chris “Norse God of Abs” Helmsworth’s scenes on repeat like a trillion times. I know Big Daddy Odin wrote that “Whosoever holds this hammer, if he be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor” jazz on the side of the mystic mallet. But when Nick Fury whispers some bad mojo in Thor’s ear in Original Sin, suddenly Thor remembers something pretty bad, and POOF! He can’t heft the hammer.
D: … and then the Frost Giants and Malekith the Accursed…
K: … the King of the Dark Elves, like in the movie, Thor 2…
D: … launch an undersea attack on Earth…
K: … and our boy Thor proves to be woefully outmatched against the frozen hoard. This is the perfect time to talk a little art. I know you usually focus on that side of the comic bookery, but Russell Dauterman’s work really makes a gal sit up and take notice. His style is unlike anything I’ve seen before, and really fits my mental image of how a book about gods and Frost Giants and hammers and rainbow bridges should look. His scenes with the giants closing in on the underwater base really stuck with me. Just really, really cool stuff.
D: It… doesn’t go well for Thor. I think this was really vital to the new story arc. Aaron was smart to show us how even without his hammer, Thor still will do what’s right. He’ll still fight the big fight when the outcome clearly isn’t in his favor. And unfortunately for him, he doesn’t come out of this scrap unscathed.
K: Yeah, that was kinda gross.
D: Meanwhile, Freyja, the All-Mother, is in heavy conflict with the recently returned Odin. Freyja has been ruling Asgard just fine in Odin’s absence, and just like the overbearing parent he is, Odin is bullying his way around town. While mom and dad bicker, Thor does what’s right, and takes off to confront the giants. And then we all know how this ends. Which brings us to…
K: … the mystery woman at the end of issue 1. Aaron and Dauterman chose to give us the mystery hero cliffhanger, and it totally works. We don’t know who picks up Thor’s hammer, but fans will be able to follow along and put together the pieces of the mystery at the same time the “new Thor” learns about her powers and abilities.
D: This isn’t the first time someone else has stood in for Thor. From Beta Ray Bill, to Red Norvell, to Thunderstrike, readers have seen this kind of thing before. But what really interests me, is that in the past, Thor has either been removed from the playing field somehow, or fights alongside the new hero. Here, we’ll see Thor react to the new hero while he’s been rendered crippled and powerless. And how will he (inevitably) regain his worthiness? Lots to ponder.
::strokes chin::
K: Maybe Guy-Thor will forever more be relegated to polishing Lady-Thor’s metal helmet? Yes, manservant Guy-Thor shall do Lady-Thor’s bidding until the END OF TIME! Now, fetch me a ginger ale!
D: Fine. But I’m not calling you Lady-Thor.
