::Dan is hard at work hanging various pictures in the office. The wall is a mishmash of crooked frames and crumbling plaster. Dan is horrible at this.::
Dan: ::mumbles:: All these pictures are crooked. Dang hammer must be broken. I need a new hammer. Maybe a nice ball peen, or possibly a sledge. I bet I could hang the crap out of these pictures with a nice sledge.
Kate: Oh god, my poor walls.
::plaster crumbles to the floor::
::Kate weeps::
D: Stupid hammer!
K: It’s a poor carpenter that blames his tools. And you sir, are a tool.
D: If I had a better hammer, I would be the freaking God of Picture Hanging!
K: You could have a whole crew of hammer-wielding picture frame hangers, and you still wouldn’t be able to hang these pictures of big-eyed dolls evenly.
D: I hate these pictures. They’re creepy.
K: And they hate you, too. They whisper their hate to me every night.
D: ::blink:: ::blink blink::
K: Here, read this. THORS is all about a crew of guys, mutants, and a frog. All with hammers. All still have problems. Not quite sure about their track record with hanging pictures, though. Maybe they settle that in issue #2.
…
D: That. That was a lot of Thors. You had Beta Ray Bill, and Storm, Leif the Ultimate Thor, and Frog Thor, and…
K: Groot! Even Groot is a Thor in this book! ::does terrible impression of Groot:: I am… Thor!
D: I guess he recently became a Thor…missed that… So all of the Thors from across the Marvel Universes have become the police force in Doctor Doom’s newly created Battleworld. If you were ever worthy to pick up the hammer, BOOM! You’re part of the Thor Squad. They help Doom keep order, prevent ne’er-do-wells from getting in, and investigate any crimes that happen. That’s right, the Thors are the cops of Battleworld. And they RagnaROK!
K: Oh, c’mon…
D: Shut up. That was perfect.
K: So are they like the Green Lantern Corps from DC, but without the green jewelry? I mean the Thor Corps is very similar: they keep order and they aren’t all humans/gods that look like humans. There are alien horse Thors and frog Thors just like there’s an alien hog and a squirrel Green Lantern. That being said, an entire force of movie Chris Hemsworth Thors wouldn’t exactly be a bad thing…
D: Hey now! You’re drooling on the comic book. And you’re kinda right about the Green Lantern Core/Thors correlation, but it’s different because this is a Marvel book, not DC. In THORS #1, the Marvel police force has discovered the fifth murder in Battleworld. Someone is killing women in different realms of Battleworld and the Thors need to find the killer and bring him or her to justice.
K: Ultimate Thor Leif and his partner Beta Ray Thor find the fifth dead woman and it’s their responsibility to solve this crime. Unfortunately there are no witnesses and they can’t ID the woman, just like the other four murders. Of course they go to their forensic scientist, Frog Thor, for help, but he’s just a frog in a lab coat who carries and hammer. He’s got nothing. Also, Forensic Frog Thor is my favorite.
D: The Thors’ inability to solve the murders doesn’t sit well with their boss. They get called into the office of the Lawspeaker, also known as Odin. He threatens to send the Thors to back to Berserker if they don’t make any progress. Love this scene. It calls back to every cop show I ever watched growing up and still watch on the Netflix.
K: Yeah fine. But what’s Berserker?
D: It’s bad. Just move on.
K: Well, the Thors better get their act together if they want to stay out of Berserker. No one wants to be sent back to Berserker.
D: Stop saying that word.
K: ::whipers:: Berserker.
D: ::sighs:: Writer Jason Aaron has done a great job setting up this book. There’s the problem: dead women from different realms. There’s the bad guy: well…spoilers, but you could probably figure it out since it’s a book starring Thor.
K: It rhymes with Thoki.
D: You also see that just because they’re riffs on the Norse God of Thunder, all of the Thors aren’t instantly besties. Runey Thor doesn’t like Storm Thor because she’s a mutant and part of the X-Men. Just because he’s the Ultimate Thor, the entire squad isn’t automatically impressed with him. But they get along just enough to be able to work together.
K: Chris Sprouse’s pencils really add to the story. All of the Thors have their own unique looks. Runey and Leif both have more traditional Norse looks, but Sprouse makes sure the reader can distinguish between the two. He has the added challenge of drawing vastly different backgrounds for the book. The story moves from a sparse and barren realm, to the Lawspeaker’s office, to a dark bar and alley. Each area had a completely different feel and look and it makes the book even more enjoyable.
D: Ah, Chris Sprouse! I’ve loved his work since I first saw it on SUPREME. Seeing his name in the preview instantly made THORS a must-have for me. And you’re spot-on. Sprouse never takes a page off. Every panel is complete. This is top-notch work, and his ability to draw a crime scene is just as important as his ability to convey the power of a group of thunder gods taking flight.
K: I think that’s why I liked this book so much: It’s not “just” a book riffing on a bunch of Alternate Thors, nor is it a book about Cosmic Cops. Aaron and Sprouse take all of these crazy concepts – remember Forensic Frog Thor? He’s my FAVORITE – mash ‘em together, and it not only makes sense, but it’s heavy cosmic-cop drama.
D: We call that “GREAT COMIC BOOKING!”
