Ozzie and Fox
Yo! Ollie here. Our Keeper, Jessie, is gone. Me and my big bro Fozzy Bear are very hungry half-King Charles Spaniel/half-Shih Tzu masters of the realm. I just turned two-years-old last month. Our Keepers threw me a big birthday party with hats that I thought were pretty stupid, and Frosty Paws, which I did not think were stupid. However, a frozen tongue feels funny. Where do you think our Keeper is, Fozzy Bear?
Who cares, Ollie? I’m in the zone. Maxing and relaxing upside down on this soft, comfy blanket the Keepers accidentally left on the floor. I’m waiting for one of the Keepers to come along and give me tummies. That’s Keeper code for tummy rubs. I adore tummies. Tummies. Tummmieeeeees. Ahhhhhhhh. Oh. Focus. What were we talking about, again? Grub. Ah yes. Ollie, your stomach rules your mind. You’re a greedy mutt. Relax.
You know, Fozzy, just because you’re ten months older doesn’t make you the boss of me. I want grub and I want it now. I already pulled out two paper plates from the garbage and licked them off, then shredded them because I was bored.
You’re a born troublemaker, Ollie. The Keepers give you a nice stuffed toy and within a half hour you make the house look like it snowed. Then you run around with the carcass hanging out of your mouth. Cretin.
Like you’re so perfect, Fozzy Bear. I remember when you got a hold of the Keeper’s Fitbit. And then you proceeded to chew it to smithereens. So they got a new one and you did it again. And again. When I think about it, our Keepers are kind of dumb.
What can I say. The Fitbit smelled good. It called to me. I couldn’t resist. Tasted weird though.
At least I only exercise my teeth with what they give me. And since we’re on the subject of chewing, Fozzy Bear, you hog the bones they give us and don’t share. That’s just rude. You suck. You lay on mine. Then you growl at me when I want it back.
Hey, what’s that noise upstairs, Ollie? You should go check it out.
Noise? What noise? Where? Noise? Where? Where is it? Oh. OH! I hear it! Oh BOY! I gotta go!
Ah yes, finally! Peace and quiet. Maybe my pesky brother will leave me alone till Jessie comes home from Caribou Coffee. That’s where she does stuff on that folding metal thing she calls a laptop. She smells like a giant coffee bean, and that’s how I know where she was. She doesn’t even like coffee. I feel so sleepy. Nap. Naaaaaaap.
(Sometime later…)
OH! What was that? Ollie? Ollie? Where are you? What was that? The door! The Keeper is at the door! Whoa. I’m stuck upside down. Why can’t I get up?
Fozzy Bear! Stop squirming. I’m trying to get off you. You looked like a big squishy rug laying there that after I went hunting for that phantom noise. I couldn’t help but use you for a giant pillow. Now I know why the Keepers put you on diet dog food. Dog food. OH! I’m starving! Get up, Fozzy Bear! The Keeper is coming in! The Keeper! Grub! It’s grub time!
You’re a spaz, Ollie. Let’s go act like we’ve been sitting by the door all day, waiting for the Keeper to come home. Then she’ll feel guilty and give us extra treats.
Right on, Fozzy Bear. We’ve got her all figured out!
Jessie Chandler is the author of the award-winning Shay O’Hanlon Caper series. Look for Operation Stop Hate (first in a new series) in early 2015, and Blood Money Murder, (Shay #5) mid-2015. Connect with Jessie at www.jessiechandler.com and on Facebook at http://facebook.com/jchandlerauthor
