The Adventures of Superman #500 with Kate (and Dan)

ZOOM IN

Dan is playing with his phone when Kate starts furiously flipping between the cover and inside of a graphic novel.

D: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?! You’re going to crease the cover!!

K: ::looks up, goes back to flipping back and forth in the comic::

D: ::grabs book:: Aww… you bent the back corner. You’re no better than those heathens that let their kids chew on their comics or use a spinner rack for their collection. THIS IS WHY WE HAVE NOTHING NICE!!

K: Calm down there, Ace. I don’t think you have any designs on selling that second hand book at auction, so the book is OK. Also, don’t look at page 44. I’m not saying that there may be ice cream on that page, but I’m not saying there isn’t.

D: Gah! What are you destroying this time, Captain Destructo? ::Looks at cover:: Ah, THE ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN #500. Good choice! This is one of my favorites. This is the issue where Superman comes back from the dead after Dan Jurgens killed him in Superman #75. It came out the same year I graduated from high school in 1993.

::hangs head:: Oh god, I’m so old.

K: Here, have some ice cream. It always makes me feel better, even when I’m not feeling down.

D: Don’t distract me from my bent comic with your pox-ridden ice cream! Say, is that Chubby Hubby?

K: Yeah, and now so are you! HAW HAW! With all of the Superman buzz going on right now, I thought I’d dig through some of your classic books. And this one is written by Jerry Ordway? I like Jerry Ordway. This 3D cover of his is amazing.

D: No argument here. Ordway was instrumental in writing the Man of Steel’s adventures after his reboot in 1986. Here in ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN 500, he writes Superman’s escape form purgatory…

K: ::turns off light, shines flashlight in face:: OOOOOOHHH SCAAAARY OOOOOHHH!

D: ::reaches around to tap Kate’s opposite shoulder::

K: HOLY FREAKING CRAP IT’S THE GHOST OF SUPERMAN!

D: ::grins a shit-eating-grin:: Anyhoo… Ordway faces a pretty steep challenge here. How to tell a resurrection story without overplaying the religious stuff? And how do you make it seem like a challenge, when the DC Universe is filled with magic users?

K: Right! I don’t need the Jesus analogy shoved down my throat. I’m glad Dr. Fate or that backwards talking lady in the top-hat didn’t just say, “Hey Clark, let’s go back to earth and meet up for cheeseburgers. Lois is waiting.”

D: Cheeseburgers?

K: I always have cheeseburgers with my ice cream. She could have asked to meet him on earth for caramels or coffee. I chose to use cheeseburgers in this scenario.

D: You can’t continue to distract me with ice cream and cheeseburgers! Why did you destroy the comic book?

K: Right. The title of the book is THE ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN. And yet there aren’t many “adventures”. Lois Lane doesn’t fall out of a helicopter. Lex Luthor isn’t trying to sink California into the ocean. The Blue Boy Scout isn’t saving many people in this book. I was making sure that I really did pick up a Superman book.

D: Not saving people?!? No “adventures”?!? He’s kinda busy saving himself from purgatory. Like we JUST discussed. Remember no meeting on earth for cheeseburgers?

K: Mmmm…cheeseburgers….

D: You are completely missing the part where Superman has to fight demons to escape the after-life. There isn’t a much bigger adventure than that. Tom Grummett’s art brings another dimension to Ordway’s story of Superman’s resurrection. There is no mistaking the scenes that take place in the physical world and those that take place in the spiritual world.

K: True. Hey, you said this came out in ’93? I thought all ‘90’s books looked like Rob Liefeld’s “twisty ladies” from GLORY AVENGELYNE?

D: The ‘90’s got a bad rap. Tom Grummett was a staple for DC. He put out a TON of work for them around that time. Great attention to detail, never took the easy way out. His detail is perfect. And check out the backgrounds. Every panel is filled out. This is a very good-looking comic book.

K: Good point. Sorry I bent your book. I’m going to dig up some more Superman books. Now how about those cheeseburgers?